Notes from a Slightly Bigger Island

It`s that time of year when thoughts of Cedar Key occupy an even bigger share of my day than usual - is the Hurricane season coming to an end yet? Can Homeland Security allow me back into the US again without too much embarrassing groping and searching? Will the family still remember me? And all of this is to be seen in the context of needing to change gears if one is to survive successfully in both the New World and the Old World.

The change is apparent as soon as I hit the airport car park, with wife and dog looking at me pityingly as I try and get into the wrong side of the car (auto). Winston Churchill, or it may have been George Bernard Shaw, knew the dangers when he talked of "two nations separated by a common language" and would surely have been sympathetic when I try to put my bags into the boot (trunk) or look under the bonnet (hood) while filling up with petrol (gas). But in a day or two, I will no doubt be hoovering (vacuuming) the floors and then I will really be home.

All of this activity will have given me an appetite and it`s comforting to know that a favorite breakfast and then the very best hamburgers will be waiting for me - you will know the establishments I mean! There is always one item, however, that the expatriate will miss and will long for until he/she returns to his/her native soil - for my wife Linda it`s slow-cooked grits, for the Korean it`s kimchi, for the Scotsman it`s deep fried Mars bars, but for the Englishman abroad it has to be tinned (canned) baked beans in tomato sauce.

This quirk may need a little explaining, as the haricot (navy) bean is actually native to North America and is today largely imported into Britain from East Africa, but ever since Henry J Heinz`s little marvels were first sold in London in 1886 his name has been associated with what is by now a staple food. "Beanz Meanz Heinz" remains one of the UK`s most famous advertising slogans and they are an essential component of any self-respecting full English breakfast, let alone the frequent snacks, teas, and suppers that follow through the day.

Now, I expect you are preparing to tell me that the shelves in your neighborhood supermarket are groaning under the weight of "beans", but beware, because I am talking about serious product differentiation here. I am talking about the prince of beans - a paler bean, a firmer bean, a recipe that is as treasured as that of Coca Cola, a bean that has been stewed to perfection in the rich tomato sauce that is scientifically proven to enrich the blood and stiffen the sinews of all true Englishmen and which eschews the addition of syrups or molasses or scraps of "pork"; in short, a prize truly beyond compare and one that can grace both the humblest and the finest tables in the land..

So if I appear a little distracted when next we meet, and my eye seems to be focused on some distant horizon, please know it`s just that I`m having a BOT (beans-on-toast) moment and that normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. .

Colin Dale (who would also be intrigued to know which items are indispensable to you when you are forced to leave the real world for Otter Creek and beyond).