SERGE A. STORMS AND

SIDEKICK COLEMAN...

ALIVE AND HILARIOUS AT LIBRARY

September 29, 2019

Best-selling author Tim Dorsey visited Cedar Key this past Thursday evening. His presentation at the Cedar Key library was like reconnecting with an old friend. Assuming, of course, your old friend writes compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny books about a vigilante serial killer. The room overflowed with more than 80 fans and curious onlookers. The author began the evening by taking a panoramic photo of the crowded room with his cell phone. "To show my daughter, " he said of the picture. Observing that fans sometimes hand him their cell phone to talk to the person on the other end, Dorsey went on to relate the story of a book signing in Kansas City. A fan thrust her cellphone in Dorsey’s direction. It seems her husband was a huge fan but was unable to attend the book signing. Dorsey obligingly took the phone, trying to convince the person on the other end that he was, in fact, talking to the real Tim Dorsey. The conversation went back and forth with Dorsey finally prevailing. The party on the other end of the line mentioned that everyone in his cell block read Tim Dorsey’s novels. “Cell block?” asked Dorsey. “Yep.” said the fellow on the phone. “I’m in Leavenworth, that’s why I couldn’t make it tonight.” The audience began giggling and applauding, setting the tone for the rest of the evening. For nearly an hour, Dorsey shared stories of life on the book tour circuit. He recalled hilarious encounters with fans across the country.

Dorsey’s novels chronicle the adventures of Serge A. Storms and his sidekick Coleman. The author introduced the audience to his main character by reading this description. "Serge's attention-deficit disorder was the first of many hyphens. Obsessive-compulsive, manic-depressive, anal-retentive, paranoid-schizophrenic. He was believed to be the only self-inflicted case of shaken-baby syndrome.”

Across 22 novels, Serge and Coleman have crisscrossed our state. Dorsey recording their every move. Serge, like Dorsey, seeks the obscure, the historically significant and the just plain weird. Those off beat people, places and things that call Florida home. Both Serge and Dorsey are compulsive collectors of Florida memorabilia. Serge keeps his priceless collection in a cigar box. Dorsey confessed that his collection fills entire bureau. Refrigerator magnets, sports team pennants, beer can koozies, View Master slides and souvenir key chains. Every sort of sunshine state tchotchke imaginable make up Dorsey's collection. Asked about living with the baggage of his fictional character, Dorsey replied, “I see him every morning in the mirror.”

Serge often dispatches his victims with a Rube Goldberg device crafted from supplies purchased at the local home improvement store. Dorsey confessed to doing “research” by walking the aisles of a certain big box store with a pencil and legal pad. Aisle by aisle, he noted the items that Serge might use to dispatch those unfortunate few that violated his civility. By the time author Dorsey had walked all the aisles, he’d accumulated enough resources for Serge to remove a half dozen villains from society.

Following the Rube Goldberg thread, Dorey related a story from his youth in Riviera Beach. It seems Dorsey, armed with his chemistry set, had been studying chemical reactions. Young Tim Dorsey went to the local pharmacist and purchased a supply of sulfur. He then asked the pharmacist for potassium nitrate. The pharmacist warned young Dorsey that combining these ingredients with charcoal creates gunpowder. Dorsey assured the pharmacist that he’d never do anything like that. A short time later, when mom and dad were away, Dorsey began his experiment. Dorsey combined the ingredients from the pharmacist with some sugar from his mother’s pantry. The ingredients were placed in a coffee can and taken to the back yard. The ensuing reaction melted the coffee can, showering the backyard in a volcano of white-hot molten goo. Dorsey revealed the burn mark left in his parent’s lawn rivaled a meteor crater.  

When asked about his fondness for Cedar Key, the author recalled a scene one of his novels set on 2^nd Street. Dorsey had a twinkle in his eye as he told of a misty evening with a wild west theme. His main character, Serge, was facing certain capture by law enforcement. Serge and his nemesis faced off on 2^nd Street, each advancing step by step towards the other. Suddenly, a Keystone Cops style distraction takes place and Serge escapes capture, fleeing from our island in (what else? ) a clam boat.

Kudos to librarian Molly Jubitz for connecting with Tim Dorsey and arranging his appearance in Cedar Key. Special thanks to The Friends of the Library for tasty snacks and refreshments. And, of course, a warm Cedar Key thank you to Tim Dorsey. Your visit made us proud to live here, Tim. You brought a large dose of laughter to our day. We look forward to your return.

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