Today marks the one-year passing of my beloved. Would you please print this on your online site? I would so appreciate it, along with our family. Thank you. Ann Burch Cedar Key BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE By: Ann Burch "Well, I`m gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won`t have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won`t have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while...it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I`d ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... Magic." -Quotes from Tom Hanks in the movie, Sleepless In Seattle- December 11, 2002, I lost the best friend I have ever had. What we had was special, even though he did not take my hand the first time we met. But I knew it when J. D. came into the store that night in Chass that we were meant to be. Magic. It is hard to believe that it has been 5-½ months now. I still feel like I am in the middle of some really bad dream, sometimes a nightmare, only to suddenly realize again that this is very real and he is really gone. We were not together a long time, having met in Chass in the late 1980's, and we were both over 40, but it worked for us. The first years were hard but we made it. Both Southern and proud of it was a major thing in common for us. He was proud of my community service for Citrus County and especially proud of everything I wrote. He was my worst and best critic. He pulled no punches and always told me the truth. We loved "Ol' Blue Eyes" and Dean Martin as much as I did and we loved to put on their music and dance to those unforgettable songs. We were fans of Lewis Grizzard and country music. He loved fishing, camping, and the mountains of Tennessee/North Carolina/Alabama areas. He also loved gardening and growing things and was excellent at it. I have been struggling to ensure that those flower gardens he began are kept up. He began to show signs of illness a few years ago. He was sick for so long. The real nightmare began as his illness progressed and I finally had to face the fact that I could no longer help him. Then everything seemed to melt together and happen so fast I could not totally grasp what was happening with us. I promised him that I would return to CFCC the next semester and go on to finish what I had started, and I promised him that I would continue to write and work on that book and my articles. I was with him when he passed away. I have made myself too busy fulfilling promises to him to grieve. And I have lost it several times, which I know that anyone who has been through this can fully understand. The pain is unbearable sometimes but you have to pull yourself together. I have been blessed with some wonderful friends who have stood by me and are waiting on the sidelines to help if I need someone to talk to. I still have not come to terms with the fact that we will not grow old together. This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. When I think of him, this old song always comes to mind, one of our favorites from the World War II era, and helps me cherish the memories even more. "I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places That this heart of mine embraces all day through In that small café, the park across the way The children's carousel, the chestnut trees, the wishing well I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day In everything that's light and gay I'll always think of you that way I'll find you in the mornin' sun And when the night is new I'll be looking at the moon But I'll be seeing you. Ann Burch |