We may have heard that old proverb used whenever someone of dubious character would begin to spread a juicy gossip about their neighbor. Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount put it this way; "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3 NIV)
There is something in our nature that makes us stop and listen to someone put-down another person. Seldom do we stop the person telling the tale and ask why they are giving us this information, or what the source for their story is.
In many cases, the person spreading gossip has some bitter feelings toward their subject. In addition, often the gossiper is just careless with the facts. In either case, there is a deep disregard for the feelings and reputation of their subject and other family members. The gossiper may spread this poison thinking that it somehow makes them look better than the low down skunk they are attempting to portray. "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends." (Proverbs 16:28 NIV) When a person carelessly or deliberately spreads malicious gossip, they are setting up conditions for the destruction of friends for life. It is sometimes almost impossible to repair the damage done by idle gossip. This is especially true whenever the person being gossiped about inadvertently overhears the conversation where he or she is being trashed.
I have heard of stories where a person would accidentally punch a button on their cell phone memory and not know that they had placed a call to a family member, friend, or associate. The person answers the call, and overhears a conversation that they were not supposed to hear.
The problem of gossip is contributing to more violence among teens, especially girls. One study suggests that the incidence of violence among girls is increasing every year. Hateful gossip is one of the big contributors to this trend. A girl may come to school one morning and notice that her friends are not speaking to her. She may later learn that terrible things were being said about her on the internet over-night.
A newspaper article gives some insight into this problem. "Teenage gossip—always hurtful but once limited to note passing, phone calls, and scrawls on bathroom walls – is more pervasive and vicious than ever, thanks to the Internet. One Highland Park, Illinois girl, now a senior in high school, said that as an eighth grader she was the subject of an online rumor that she had slept with the football team.
'I think it was started by the ex-girlfriend of a boy on the team, but it didn't matter where it came from,' she said. 'People just want to believe it—and there was no way to refute it. I wanted to kill myself.'" Chicago Tribune (4-30-02, p. 1 "Internet Pumps Up the Volume on Teen Trash Talk")
Jesus commented on the potential destructive nature of words. "What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'" (Matthew 15:11)
Our parents advice to count to ten before saying something is surely good advice in these days of fast rumor spreading over our many lines of communication. We must accept responsibility for the words we speak and write. Think before we fire off a nasty e-mail letter about someone. Think before we make that phone call. Call the person up who is the subject of a nasty rumor, and wish them a good day. When you make that call, resist the temptation to ask them about what you have heard. Just let gossip die a natural death.
Idle gossip will destroy trust in families, churches, schools and entire communities. Replace gossip by becoming friends with more people. Genuine friendship will not permit mean spirited gossip to spread. Jesus said: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13 NIV) True friends do not say or do anything to harm each other. Make our town a better place by spreading true friendship and good will.
You are invited to attend the services of the Church of Christ at the corner of 3rd and E Streets. Write me with any questions or comments David Binkley, Sr., P.O. Box 186, Cedar Key, FL 32625 or E-mail at dgbinkley@aol.com. You may also request to receive the daily WORD OF THE DAY by e-mail. Check out our web site at www.cedarkeychurchofchrist.com. | 